Is 30 the new ‘midlife crisis’?

It seems that every 28-30 year old I know is stuck between 2 worlds. The self-indulgent millennial archetype, that has proven that smart phones may just be a portal to the fourth dimension …and the tail end of the 90s kids, who are so nostalgic of that time that they can never fully adapt to this new era without hating on hipsters and the Kartrashians.

We are a rare breed of self-deprecating, humble and arrogant know-it-all-isms all in one and we love that we have that credibility. We are the only generation that is an equal hybrid of the analog and digital world. We have truly gone through the transition. Most of us had normal teenage lives in the sense that we were aware of the world at large, but not enough for us to feel like we had to do it all. We still know what true boredom feels like. We still know what its like to feel like crap about our situation, but not be bombarded of others apparent glamorous lives. We weren’t even fooled by MTV Cribs. We know what its like to break up with a boyfriend or a friend and only see them years later at some random flea market. We know what its like to not have the option to stalk…

But like a child of divorced parents, we often find it confusing to balance these two worlds that helped in our evolution.  We feel adequate, content and comfortable, but also like we are missing out because we didn’t become a rags ‘to not quite rich but rich enough’ story.  The thing is we still have hope, and its kind of driving us mad.



Summer 2018: An Initiation


The air is beautiful right now, and everything is full and abundant. There is a presence towards the end of summer of every living being trying to get their last sips. Meeting up with friends before it’s over, taking long walks by the water, and feeling our bodies slowly get ready to curl into the new air that’s on its way.

Sitting outside for lunch breaks and breakfasts, local apples finally making their way to your local farmers market, and the need for warming herbs in our bodies such as ginger, cardamom and cinnamon.

As the seasons change, questions come up for me. What did I learn this summer? Did I do what I wanted to do? See who I wanted to see? Experience what I’ve been craving? Heal my body and spirit in some sort of way?

This summer I have been using a lot of herbal allies to hep me get through the ruthless eclipse and retrograde seasons that initiated a deep purging, juxtaposed by beautiful weather with few rainy days. It’s funny how nature always manages to balance the light and the dark. The summer started out on a high for me and took a deep deep sea dive to shadows and dark cobweb infested caves. Truth finally made its way to the surface, to breath and cough out the old, infected mucus it was choking on. Its lungs are now clear, but the damage is there. Inflammation lines its alveoli and its membranes are raw, but there’s healing. Now the pendulum swings the other way to a less suffocating way of living. Breathing is less congested and clogged. An initiation has been surpassed.

Now comes the healing. Herbs like lavender and chamomile to calm and hug the inner child, Skullcap to heal the gyrating frazzled nerves and nettle to nourish and help one feel hole again.

I must remember it’s all a process. Tragedies and betrayals are nothing new in this world. There are many arts and sciences that have been strengthened and alchemized from these adversities.

I have resonated most with yoga, literature, writing, herbs and nourishing hearty foods. Sleep has also taken me to far and mysterious spaces into my subconscious. I’ve been blessed with a deeper wisdom that in all its hell, it has been a beautiful journey and an unforgettable summer.

astrology, career, feminine, goddess, life, Uncategorized

The Journey Back to my Core

Image result for divine feminine

These past few months, I have been taken some time for me… I have been getting in tune with my divine feminine energy.

  • I have been nourishing myself with a daily yoga practice
  • Making nourishing plant based meals
  • Started a YouTube channel on plant based eating
  • Enjoying really good artisanal beers
  • I have been micro dosing with edibles
  • Listening to inspiring goddess podcasts
  • Going to various workshops of interest
  • Working at an all organic health food store with kindred spirits
  • Taking dance classes
  • Reading constantly
  • Writing when I feel the urge to
  • Getting rid of ‘things’ and decluttering
  • Studying astrology
  • Enrolled myself in an herbal apprenticeship

I have turned the ship around and decided to jump off the boat to dive deeper into the vast ocean of myself, my zero point, my core. The journey is far from over.

Last year at this time, I was moving against the natural current of my vibration. I was really trying to fit into mainstream society and was applying for nursing jobs, constantly feeling frustrated. I had just spent the past 4 years of my life in a state of anxiety. I was always looking ahead. When would I find a job? Why not me? When will I start making real money? All my friends are getting nursing jobs, its only a matter of time before I get one! I was in the thick of expectations versus reality. Whether I like to admit it or not, I don’t think I truly trusted the universe. I was repressing my true feelings to attain something that did not align with me.

I finally passed the government nursing exam after a second try and 1200 dollars later. I felt proud of myself because I accomplished something I was working on for years, but at the end of the day, even though I accomplished something in high esteem, it was momentary defeat.

Shortly after passing my exam, I got my first nursing job working at a mental institution doing night shifts. I was so excited to just get a nursing job that I overlooked what being a night nurse at a psychiatric ward actually entailed. Long story short, despite meeting some very nice people there, I overall didn’t agree with the politics of the job. I was working for ‘the machine’. I was over medicating mentally ill people who were victims of the system without really helping them. I ended up getting really sick working there and my body was literally yelling out the things my voice wouldn’t communicate. One morning I just decided I had to quit and went on Craigslist and the health food store job was literally the first listing I saw. After 6 months of toughing it out, I gave in my letter of resignation and got the job at a health food store for half the pay. 2 weeks after quitting, my Saturn return also ended.

Things in my life were slowly changing for the better, but to me it was just suffering and unfairness from the universe. A friendship I had for almost 20 years finally came to an end, and the field I was working in just didn’t resonate with my spirit anymore. At the time, it all felt like a waste on the surface level.

Fast forward 6 months later, I am now at the beginning of a new and UNCERTAIN journey. I feel familiar to myself. I am remembering. I feel a lot more grounded. I am like a kid in a candy shop exploring all of these aspects of myself that I ignored for so long. Seeds that were planted lifetimes ago are now being watered and have the potential to grow strong green stems with sweet, colourful and juicy fruits.

The divine feminine is a place of intuition, creativity, sexuality and tenderness. It is also a place of darkness, with fertile soil, sometimes moist with lots of nutrients or sometimes dry and cracked, crying out for water. It is from that place that we notice our thirst. This is new to me. Caring for my soul is new to me because I have forgotten about it for so long. It is sad, but it is also a product of this patriarchal, capitalist, and classist society. The old paradigm.

So here I sit, in that place of uncertainty, unsure of which seeds I should water first. There is fear there. It has been an ally and a nuisance but also a firm kick in the ass. I still sometimes apply for nursing jobs when I get nervous about money and bills. When I do get call backs, I get ambivalent and anxious about choosing whether or not to take the interview. I am slowly learning to use my heart as my compass rather than fear. It is a daily practice. I am also sitting in a cafe and a lady just let me know her baby is 2 days old which to me is symbolic of new beginnings. How about that?

cannabis, medical cannabis, Uncategorized, weed

Reviews: Low THC Strains


There is  an under-representation in the cannabis community of folks who don’t really need high-grade, high THC bud to get satisfaction from of their medicine.  Some of us really just need a few tokes to be satisfied rather than Action Bronson style marathons!   There seems to be a stigma around those who really cannot handle these new high quality strains with 20% THC and higher. You might hear things like ‘you just can’t handle weed’, ‘weed is not for you’,  or ‘ you probably have hidden issues that the weed is bringing out’.  Maybe the answer could just simply be that we are all different.  Our livers metabolize THC differently.  The chemistry of our bodies utilize various cannabinoids in a variety of ways and there is most likely nothing ‘wrong’ with you for not being able to process these high level strains.

With that being said, what gets me BLAZED out of my mind, may do nothing for you. What gets me seeing the truth in everything, might just make you giggle. Some people smoke to relieve anxiety and some people smoke and anxiety symptoms are exacerbated. My main point is, to each is his own.

Now sometimes, getting blasted on THC is completely necessary, but when you would like something to use before work, while doing house chores or events that involve a lot of socializing, maybe a low dose might be exactly what you need.  Something to keep your head in the sky, but your feet on the ground.

As one of those individuals who has low tolerance for THC, I find it difficult to find herb that I can smoke and still carry out my day to day tasks without falling into the classic stereotypical stoner coma. Obviously most ‘professional’ stoners can really smoke at any time of the day and some how still be productive without letting it interfere with day to day tasks (but actually enhancing them). But, as the rapper Skepta would say, Thats not me!

With that being said, for people like me, I am going to start a section of this blog where I review strains of cannibus that are 15-18% THC or lower. I will also be reviewing CBD rich strains and possibly discuss other topics related to cannabises role in spirituality and medical use.

This month, I will be reviewing:

BROKEN COAST’S- SATIVA TIPS (Sativa-Dominant Trim)

This strain is a mixture of the tips of their Sativa- Dominant Strains which include: Northern Lights Haze, Super Lemon Haze, White Walker Kush, and Sour OG 1. Because it is just the tips of the plant, it is just 4$ a gram, but you must purchase a minimum of 15grams. Don’t forget you also need a medical license to order! I spent approximately 68$ including shipping and handling. At first I was kind of annoyed because I wanted to try multiple strains, but it forced me to get to know enjoy this one product for a longer period of time.

It came in a child proof closed cylinder plastic container and the bud smelt super nutty, earthy and fresh. It was filled up nice and I was very excited to try something where I actually had knowledge of the amount of THC and CBD in it so I could dose myself accordingly. Tips are often recommended to be used in edibles, but I ended up just smoking this batch and giving a sample here and there to friends and family who are moderate users.

The high: The high was very, very mild. At 10% THC and approximatly 0.04% CBD, this seems to have the effect of the combination of hot bubble bath and the post yoga class high. The high was a giggly and relaxed one. Munchies were not too crazy and it wasn’t too psychedelic. For sleep, it was perfect. Sometimes high THC strains have your mind so active that sleeping can be difficult, but this induced the perfect sleep alongside a nice cup of chamomile tea. No anxiety or paranoia was felt. My head had a light tingling to it, almost a surreal like sensation similar to light snowing versus a full on snow storm.


  • A very light enjoyable strain that I would recommend to a new user who is anxious about using Cannabis medically
  • Useful for students who are looking for something mild to accompany studying
  • Excellent for sleeping
  • Post work, late afternoon

*Broken Coast is a medical cannabis company based in British Columbia.

career, life, montreal, Uncategorized

If It Doesn’t Align, Don’t Give it Your Time

So it has been awhile since I have written. But I can’t lie, there is an excitement sitting down to write after a long hiatus (with a fresh almond milk latte by your side waiting to be devoured). Anyways, life has been happenin’, as it should. Lots of thinking and setting up a shelter at the crossroads as I am not sure of what path to take, or what cliff to jump off of.

So, here I sit, writing to help me cope with the peaks and valleys of this particular karmic cycle. The peacefulness of putting my phone away and letting these demons out in a somewhat tangible form is therapeutic AF. These chaotic thoughts need some fresh air!!!

To help ease the confusion that I have been feeling lately, I have been consuming a lot of the works of Pablo Coehlo, Robert Greene Dr. Gabor Mate and Steven Pressfield and using their words as tool to help me get by. There is a constant message from these men that I can only sum up here:

1. Do what you love, but be prepared to do the work.

2. Be honest with yourself and heal and repair traumas that you have avoided your whole entire life. They will only haunt you and make you sick.

3. Understand that the body is an organism made up of  your mental, emotional and physical bodies that are constantly working in unison. If one is not cared for, it may cause havoc and disease in specific areas of the body.

4. Understand that YOUR specific path is unique to you, and you must never compare yourself to others.

5. Trust the process, trust the journey, and walk the path.

I’ve realized that when something does not align with us, how far will we go to avoid this and make excuses for ourselves or this external thing that keeps disturbing our peace?

We live in a society that teaches us that pain is necessary to get to the other side, wherever that might be. I mean, I am a boxing lover and that mentality has been bred into my mind. Suffer now, and live the rest of your life like a champion. But at what point do you realize that the suffering has stayed constant and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel? At what point do you abandon the ship and jump off that bitch?

I went to nursing school. I loved the people I met, but hated the bureaucratic bullshit that came along with it. My initial plan was to become a naturopath, but I knew that nursing would give me the credibility I needed for people to take me seriously or that it would give me a deeper understanding of the western healthcare system. So I suffered through it, despite it always feeling very backwards to me.

I kind of told myself, despite how much this system doesn’t allign with me, I have still have to work with this system, because for now its not going anywhere. I thought more about bills, debt, security and future children when choosing this profession, instead of passion, love and magic.

Anyways, the real lesson I learned here is the importance and the magic of carving your own path. Meaning, going where your heart leads you. This doesn’t mean not using your mind, but it means letting your intuition guide you. Its a cliche thing to say for sure, but so many people don’t listen (including myself) for whatever reason we give ourselves!

Doing what you love creates an aura of joy around you which can lead to more joy. If that’s the vibration you are carrying, then that is what you will attract into your life. Like attracts like.

So, just think to yourself, where will I be most passionate, where will I be most happy? Maybe it won’t be the area that brings you the most money, but it will lead to peace of mind. And a peace of mind causes a VERY REAL glow that most don’t possess. Why? Because majority of us are are not following our hearts, whether we like to admit it or not, and sometimes that shows up on our faces, in our eyes…

Truly following our heart is the hardest easiest decision we will ever make, but I think that it will make the world a better place.

I am currently stuck between paths, but I am hoping I am able practice the courage that I write about and follow that red, hot, throbbing, life giving vessel that has made a home in my chest.

I am going to leave you with some clips that really inspire me that I watch every now and then when I feel lost or confused on the path.

entertainment, fall, montreal

Things To Do in Montreal: Fall 2017

If you currently have one foot in your creative life and the other foot in paying bills and working a mediocre job that you kind of want to quit, this list might contain some basic Fall 2017 ‘inspiration-information’ that you need.

Blame it on shitty promoters or your own ignorance if you will, but we are so busy that sometimes we miss out on many cool events in this city. While some Montrealers are super cool, ‘edgy’ and know about all the happenings in the land of the Sexy Franglais, a lot of us are caught up in that mundane day-to-day grind. Sometimes, we have to enjoy the ‘basic’ things over the luxuries. Here is a mini list of ways you can invite a little bit of ‘Je ne sais quoi…’ into your life for Fall 2017:

1. Get that Pumpkin Latte at least once and take a stroll at the Atwater Market, sit by the Lachine Canal and reflect!, listen to a podcast, or chat up a friend. Please do it at least once so you can look back and say…, “You gotta try the Pumpkin Lattes at…blahblah”

Image result for pumpkin spice latte

2. Have a Fall PhotoShoot with some friends or a significant other in front of some trees that incorporates that lovely autumn color palette, and maybe put that on the I.G., hashtag it #autumn #ilovefall and enjoy the pleasure of that temporary dopamine rush from a few mini-red-hearts… Or even print out the photos at a nearby pharmacy (like we used to do) for like 1.15$ and put them in a cool wooden frame (unfortunately, but probably from Dollarama :\)

Related image

3. Visit the World Press Photo Exhibition in Old Montreal (it finishes October 1st) Although it can be slightly depressing, it’s also a lovely way to spend 15$ and see some of the best photos taken from all over the world this year. I have been twice and it definitely is an escape from your reality into a portal through the eyes of phenomenal photographers. You will leave feeling grateful but inspired.

4. Go see Mother! Such a weird, wacky, artistic but refreshing movie by Darren Aronofsky (the guy that brought us Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan a.k.a. the ‘Fucked up’ genre of film). It’s definitely a confusing mind fuck, but on the bright side, you will have a lot of fun reading articles and scoping various YouTube channels that explore the numerous interpretations of this film.

5. Go Apple Picking -Yea, it’s a damn cliché thing to do, but when do Montrealers really get to pick anything off of a tree and eat it? All you need is a car and a free Sunday and you are good to go. Apple picking is a great way to get out of the city and get in touch with nature, something that many of us are subconsciously craving.

Image result for apple picking montreal

6. Give Thanks! – The history of Thanksgiving as many of us know, had a tradition that involved atrocious murders of many native americans. Despite this, many families still celebrate this Turkey Murdering holiday. In fact, I still celebrate this holiday. I do not find anything wrong with families gathering together to feast and give thanks for their shared blessings, but we should definitely acknowledge the monstrous history of how this holiday came to be. If you are lucky enough to have a family that celebrates Thanksgiving or have a friend that has invited you for supper, please go. We do not eat together often enough and it is always a beautiful thing to break bread and be festive among loved ones.

P.S. If you are alone this Thanksgiving, google: Thanksgiving with black (or white) family memes.  You might end up being quite happy your are solo for this one!

Image result for thanksgiving southern

7. Fright Night at LaRonde– If you are like me, you might have bought a LaRonde Pass this summer. If you are also like me, you probably only went once. Luckily on weekends from September 30th until October 29th, Laronde is hosting Fright Fest. Some of the features of this Fest include various Haunted Houses, the “Massacre Museum”, a few of their regular Roller Coasters (The Monster, The Vampire, etc…) . Anyways, now is your chance to make that 50$ Season Pass worth your buck.

Image result for fright night laronde

beauty, organic

July-August-September Self-care Faves!!!

1. Doctor Bronner’s Lavender Pure Castile Bar Soap

If you are like me and you are old school when it comes to your soap, then you are probably still using good ol’ bar soap. There are so many damn bars to choose from, but once you are on the natural organic path, those options definitely decrease. I personally find this a good choice for the simple fact that it is all natural, never ever irritates or dries out my skin, and relaxes me when I come home from night shift due to the lavender. If my face is really dirty, say after working out, I dilute it with water and wash my face with it. It also lasts long enough, but not long enough that you get bored with the scent. I personally like to change-up my soaps every now and then because scent carries different vibrations and may not always match you current vibe. Give this a try if you are looking something relaxing and natural.

2. Art Naturals Vitamin C Serum

Image result for art naturals vitamin c serum

This stuff does the job. It has hyaluronic acid, vitamin e, and vitamin c as active ingredients so it increases hydration, reduces sun damage and brightens the skin. I definitely see a difference in my skin in the morning when I apply this at night. Its moisturized and extra glowy. I have very sensitive skin and most commercial products almost always irritate my skin. This stuff is all natural, doesn’t have some gross strong chemical scent and actually works.

3. Pacifica Tuscan Blood Orange Roll-On Perfume

Image result for pacifica tuscan blood orange

This scent smells heavenly. As I slowly progress deeper into a natural holistic based lifestyle, luxury perfumes are a thing of the past. First off, they are expensive, and secondly, I find a lot of them unnecessarily strong. When I go to The Bay and try to find a scent, I find everything smells the same after a while. I’ve just never gotten into them. Even now, I have Ralph Lauren: Romance and I have used it like twice in 6 months! I guess my life is not that glamorous as I never feel like I need to smell that spruced up to go out. Pacifica’s Scents are 100% vegan and made with essential oils. I find this one literally smells like summer. I will probably wear it until maybe mid September and then move onto something that is more appropriate to the fall season.

4. Rose Water-Lavender, Sweet Orange Essential Oil & White vinegar as a Cleaning Product

Image result for rose water Image result for lavender essential oil Image result for sweet orange essential oil Image result for white vinegar

As much as bleach and Pine-Sol products do the job, they do have some harmful chemicals in them that leave an intense smell behind. I used to work at a restaurant and mop the floors with this stuff every night and my work clothes would always smell like Pine Sol! Recently, I have discovered Vinegar as a cleaning product. I also use essential oils and rose-water and my house smells heavenly. Vinegar is also great for spiritual cleanings of the home and removing bad energy. Please enjoy this Heavenly Mop Water recipe:

1 part white vinegar

2 parts hot water

7-10 drops Lavender Essential Oil

7-10 drops Sweet Orange Essential Oil

Approximately 1 cup of Rose Water (you can find this for like 2-3$ at a health store or ethnic grocery store)

5. Broke Millennial’s Sangria

Image result for sangria

This summer I turned 30 and of course I got a lot of alcohol for my birthday. I had about 4 bottles of wine despite not being a big wine drinker in general. I was going to have a Sangria party, but life got busy so I ended up just making Sangrias for myself, especially on hot summer days or as a pre-drink cocktail before parties. I looked up so many recipes and they all called for extra liquor like peach snaps or specific Spanish Wines. I finally came up with a recipe that you can play around with. Here is a recipe by the glass because it tastes better to make it by the glass rather than the jug:


  • 1/2 Cup of Red Wine
  • Cap full of cognac for flavour (optional)..my b.f. is a Hennessy Man so I steal his 😉
  • 1/4 Orange Juice. I sometimes used Orange Mango Juice by Kiju
  • 1/4 7 up/Ginger Ale (surprisingly delicious)/ or Club Soda to decrease Sugar content
  • 2-3 Maraschino Cherries for fun (optional)
  • Slice up Lemons, Limes, Peaches, Apples, Oranges (pretty much whatever is in your fridge) and crush them to get the flavours out.

*Stir this up slightly and Enjoy! It’s probably 5x more enjoyable on a hot day on the balcony though!

6. Hask Placenta Conditioner Packs for Damaged Locs

Image result for hask placenta packs macadamia

Earlier this summer, I decided to put 20% peroxide in an All Natural Hair Dye I used. There was already peroxide in it, but I added more thinking it would bring the colour out. At first it came out really nice, but then my poor locs started feeling like paper. My scalp got extremely itchy and I even got some scabs (possible from all the itching). I thought my hair was going to fall out and that my locs would be destroyed. I looked up remedies for damaged locs from peroxide specifically. There isn’t much information, but I kept seeing Protein Treatments as a cure for damaged Locs. I went to the pharmacy and found those little packets of deep conditioners. They were like 3$. I bought 2. I used one and kept it in for like 3 hours while I did house chores and believe it or not, it worked! My hair was uber soft and I did a few more treatments about once a week and my hair is currently back to its old self! Try it if you need some extra softness for those beautiful locs, especially if you have been having so much fun this summer that you neglected your thirst tresses.

astrology, Uncategorized

The Wacky Cancers Guide to Navigating the World of Relationships Through Astrology…

So poor you, you are a Cancer! So am I. We get such a bad wrap in the world of the Zodiac. Apparently, we are sensitive, shy, emotional and moody…pretty much all the shitty qualities. Clearly the person who created the zodiac had a problem with us lovely summer born moon children! For instance, why does a Sagittarius get to be fun-loving, life of the party? Why is Aries the energetic leader? Aquarians the independent intellectuals? Fuck that!!!… (clearly I am a sensitive Cancer)!

Cancers are awesome and we see through all that surface level stuff. We are the most versatile of the Zodiac and come in all kinds of flavours and personality types! Maybe I am a little bias because I am smack in the middle of Cancer Season (July 2nd), but I have met so many variations of Cancers. Yes, we all have many of these presumptuous stereotypes in common, but we are a lot more than that!

Here is a guide for us to help with relationship compatibility.

I have had many friendships and intimate relationships with a number of signs! So, here I will give you a guide on what to expect with specific signs from a Cancerian perspective. Because of our sensitivities and intuitive qualities, we see the deeper aspects of people and the energies they carry. It can be quite annoying to have this ability, but maybe this guide can help! This is clearly just a guide, it is not the be all end all of compatibility. Clearly, there are other aspects to astrology when it comes to compatibility such as your Moon, Mars, Mercury, Rising signs, etc!


AS FRIENDS: Aries are fun-loving friends and they love Cancers because we let them do their thing and don’t really butt heads. You guys are not in competition with each other because you face the world in different ways. You guys are both sensitive, but while Aries is aggressive in their approach, you are aggressive in a subtle way. You are patient and read situations first, while Aries is quicker, but may jump to conclusions. You will be appreciated for making others feel safe and understood, while Aries does the same thing, but by leading people to be fearless and be their true selves.

LOVERS: Aries and Cancers energies are perfect for love-making. Cancer is receptive, and Aries is aggressive, so there is this beautiful back and forth war-like energy that goes on in between them. Both are Cardinal Signs, meaning both are leaders within different pathways of energies. Aries will help Cancer open up and get in touch with their primal sides, while Cancer will help Aries get in touch with their emotional needs that they may have been denying to themselves. Cancer and Aries together can create an intoxicating energy together, but the fire may burn so bright at first that there may have trouble sustaining it! Also take note, Cancer may only have eyes for Aries, but Aries has too much energy to give to just one person. As a result, Cancer might stray if their emotional needs aren’t being met…


FRIENDS: Taurus and Cancer make great friends. They both have this “We have been friends for decades” Vibe. Taurus, an earth sign, is stable AND wild at the same time. Cancer, not the most stable, but a lover of security, also loves getting wild with their Taurus amigo. They both know when to go hard, and when to relax and take it easy. Both signs are sensitive physically, so food and drink are something these two can enjoy together. They can both get on each other nerves because Cancer can be too emotionally raw by pointing out some harsh truths to Taurus, but Taurus can be so stubborn and will never let Cancer win. They might have to agree to disagree for many matters.

LOVERS: Taurus lovers can be lazy but also have amazing stamina, an oxymoron, yes, but Cancers can also lay in bed all day and have sex, order food, watch movies and be shut ins. So yes this works, but it has the potential of becoming repetitive and boring. But of course, Cancer might become moody and pick a fight with Taurus to spice things up so if Taurus has enough patience, this could last a long time!


FRIENDS: Geminis make excellent friends for Cancers. Although they are not the most emotional or sensitive, may of them have the gift of Gab and will listen to Cancers problems and insecurities. Gemini can be gloomy and depressing, but they almost seem to be more intellectual about it instead of emotional. Cancer and Gemini can bond about this and Gemini will make Cancer have more of a sense of humour about their issues (and vice versa!). They both face darkness in different ways and will never feel alone around each other.

LOVERS: Tricky one! Gemini will bring you in with the way you can relate to one another and socialize, but many of them may not have the watery, comforting, fiery energy that pulls Cancer in and turns them on. This is more of a playful, child like love. Someone to do fun activities with. Someone to have a night on the town with. So depending on what a Cancer is going through in life, this could be just what Cancer needs or…not quite enough.


FRIENDS: Cancer friends will understand you like no other sign. Cancer is such a healer that we are sprinkled around in circles of friends, because too many of us might cause minor chaos. When I hear people say nice things about Cancers, which can be rare at times, they usually say “We need you guys!” Why? Because we are like the kind girlfriends that only become ass holes when we are treated badly or taken advantage of. If a Cancer is having an off or moody day, he or she will retreat so you don’t have to put up with their stank attitude. But not many people get that and will want to come around anyway and then get upset when their Cancer friend is being bitchy. We can’t help it, we are children of the moon. We have amazing ups, and really dark downs and that’s why we can relate to so many people on so many levels. We know joy and pain equally. Also, don’t fuck around with a Cancers feelings, they will take it personal. Come correct and don’t screw them over, they do not take fuckery very lightly.

LOVERS: Cancers are very receptive and giving. They want you to feel good and they want you to feel like you can express your love in exactly how you want to. Cancers can adapt to your style of love-making, and depending on how much they love you, they will please you accordingly. Cancers love intimacy, and don’t open up easily, so sex is a way for them to feel close and secure, which is why they always want to have sex. Just get them out of bed, because they are LOVERS. They will lay in bed all day and have sex, without getting anything done.


FRIENDS: I have a few Leos in my life and they are family members or acquaintances. Leos have very big hearts from what I noticed. They are kind of like the Lion in the Wizard if Oz personality wise, except they DO have courage and loyalty, mainly for loved ones. Leos are happy and bright people, but similar to Cancers, they do not take getting hurt lightly. Although they are easy-going with people and give them the benefit of the doubt in most cases, when you push them beware. Leo family members are a blessing, although they are extremely prideful which can be quite annoying for others.

LOVERS: Leos in love have a big ego, but the love for themselves is carried onto the love for their partners. They are extremely generous, loyal and prideful at the same time. As much as they are easy-going, they also love to be right and a couple of steps ahead of the pack…


FRIENDS: Just like Cancers, Virgos are particular as fuck. They are also solid as fuck. They are very logical, analytical, opinionated, and friendly, but some how reserved. Virgos are nit picky but they are very reliable and loving friends, you just have to put up with them. They are good for Cancers because they get ‘it’. They are just as sensitive and bitchy as Cancers, and that is why both can get along so well or not get along so well. They both take disappointments from friends personally, so they may piss each other off or become very close friends.

LOVERS: Virgo lovers are solid. Cancer and Virgo couples are also homies and can take it slow and easy. There is no rush. They are kind of like that husband and wife who will probably be together for decades. Maybe this relationship is best pursuing at 30 years old and over because it might be too mature and stable, but not too exciting. Virgos can give Cancers that security and stability they crave. They also know when the party is over, so Cancer will never feel like a the Debbie Downer/party pooper with them.


FRIENDS: Libras and Cancers are odd friends, but can be very good friends none the less. They both look at the world very differently but can teach one other many things. Libra can help balance out a Cancers labile temperamental moods, and Cancer can get Libra to really feel and indulge their emotions, whether it be anger or bliss. Cancer will teach Libra passion. Libra can be flighty and care free, and Cancer finds it hard to understand, but they both can have a lot of fun together when bringing their very different qualities together, They can learn a lot from one another.

LOVERS: I guess I can only speak as a cis female from this point. Male Libras can be exciting partners for female Cancers. They can both be very chatty with one another and social, but they power their auras from completely different energy sources. Libra can help Cancers not to take things so seriously, and a Cancer can show a Libra how to handle their frustrations since they have so much experience in that realm. They both have a love for beautiful things and harmony, so there will almost always be a rainbow after the storm for these two!


FRIENDS: Scorpios and Cancer are cut from the same cloth. Both intense in different ways, Scorpio lives life in even deeper waters than Cancer, so therefore has a lot of practice sailing through the tides. What derails Cancer, might not be as tough on a Scorpio because Scorpio has been dealing with this almost constantly. Cancer is lucky enough to have ups and down, where Scorpio lives a life of intensity in the deep blue sea. Cancer is like baby Scorpio that hasn’t developed its poisonous stinger yet. Cancer and Scorpio may have some tricky moments together because they can both see right through each others bullshit, but they will never dislike one another because they are siblings among their other Zodiac friends. Scorpios are great allies and friends for Cancerian to have, but might need each other in small doses.

LOVERS: Cancer and Scorpio love in this day and age is very tricky. We both know each other too well, and it might be scared of the powerful intimacy that can grown between us. This match might have to make both protective signs peel off their tough and durable shells to reveal the tender raw skin underneath. Both signs might not be ready for that intensity yet so this may not be the best match for now. A lot of self-development must take place before this can happen.


FRIENDS: I have had nothing but fun with my Sag friends. This rumored “life of the party” sign definitely has ups and downs, but just like Cancer, Saggitarius is an often misunderstood sign of the Zodiac. There is definitely a dark side to the glamour but luckily Cancer can be useful for both sides of the coin. Sagittariuses and Cancer have a lot to laugh at together, for instance their dark sides. They often form underrated friendships. Often when a Cancer is having a bad day, Sagittarians will lend an open ear and tell Cancer to lighten up and smoke a joint, or have a beer. They are easygoing and will not take your moodiness to heart. Saggitarians are quite sensitive and know what a depressed and shitty day feels like. But, they are professionals at not giving a fuck as well. They know how to throw in the towel and let the universe do what it does best. Downsides are that Saggitatrians can overindulge and sweep their issues to the side instead of sorting them out!

LOVERS: Saggitarians are often accused of not wanting to settle down, but I think Saggitarians just know bullshit when they see it and will not settle down with just anyone. Saggitarians have big hearts and a lot of love to give. When they find the one they want to be with, that person will always know. Cancers can be quite possessive and as much as they love all that Sagittarius attention, they need to let Saggitarian spread their wings. Cancers have to know how to jump on the archers back and enjoy the free ride. When the Archer gets tired, Cancer can nurture them and replenish their energy to handle their business. Sags secretly are possessive too but Cancer will never let a Sagittarius worry too long. This can work, it just has to be give and take.


FRIENDS: The matriarch of my family is a Capricorn and so is my aunt. I have some Capricorn friends, but very few. Caps have the reputation of being hardworking and I can’t say this isn’t true. Most Caps I have known have been very reliable people who handle their shit and might even handle your shit for you. For example, while a Cancer might be hung over and call in sick, a Cap will push through and go to work or push the Cancer to go to work! They can come across as reserved, bitchy and serious, but don’t be fooled, for all the hard work, they like to play hard as well. Caps rarely let their guard down, but they can only be strong for so long. Cancers can show Caps how to be fluid, let go and be vulnerable while Caps can show Cancers to stand tall and that they can handle anything that comes their way. They can be great allies and share a lot of laughs.

LOVERS: Capricorns and Cancers are opposites but also extremely similar. The Mother and the Father of the Zodiac, they know how to take a back seat and watch it all unfold into exactly how they predicted it would. Cancer will watch someone screw themselves over emotionally, while Capricorn will see someones laziness screw them over. Cancer provides a sturdy foundation and Capricorn knows how to build.


FRIENDS: I have had a ton of Aquarian friends. Weirdos. Okay kidding. Aquarians are your wacky friends who are just as weird if not weirder than you. They are quirky people and they can relate to many others. They are easy-going and are someone you can bring around others and they wont come crying to you about someone being mean to them. They get along well with everybody. Aquarians might not always be there for a Cancer (the way Cancer wants them to be), but they also know how to give Cancer the space they need without taking things personally. They are emotional, but not as emotionally imprisoned as Cancers. They can make great acquaintances for Cancers and be a breath of fresh air in a Cancers life, especially when things get too hectic.

LOVERS: Aquarian lovers can be dangerous for Cancers. Cancers can be very attractive to Aquarians. They love that Cancerian lunar misery mystery. They are a lot more eager and persistent when chasing a Cancer, and Cancer can usually see the bullshit coming from a mile away. The thing with this coupling is that a Cancer warns the Aquarian, ‘Is this is what you want? Well be prepared!’ Aquarians think they can handle a Cancers intensity, but it proves to be too much for them. Aquarians can be quite cold and neglectful when dealing with their own shit! Not the best match, but if this match manages to keep the energy light, they can have an interesting and memorable time together.


FRIENDS: PISCES is a beautiful sign. Gentle, kind, emotionally intelligent, wacky and extreme, these water signs nest in the same waters Cancer does. Only thing is, Cancer is closer to the safe shore. Pisces swims in turbulent waters and extreme is their middle name. Pisces understands Cancer and Cancer understands Pisces. Pisces is sensitive, but that sensitivity they live with makes them wild people. They know how to channel it and Cancer should take notes.

LOVERS: Courtney Love is a Cancer and Kurt Cobain was a Pisces. They had a wild ride, but all that water energy can drown these two. These two can really create their own world together and play around like piglets in shit. They can handle ups and downs together AND laugh at the other signs of Zodiac that can’t see through the bullshit like they can. They are both intuitive AF. As long as these two come to dry on the sand every now and then, they can understand each other on many deep levels and form a deep and timeless bond. Earth energy is important for these two!



7 Ways Meditation Benefited My Life in Just 1 Month

Like everybody else in 2016, I was really going through it. I just finished nursing school and was pretty burnt out. I failed my 600$ government exam and failed my first job interview. Unfortunately, I reacted to all of this like a slightly whiney millennial.

In early 2017, I also failed my second job interview and I really didn’t take it well. I cried and moped around and my boyfriend became my therapist. I was just getting fed up of myself overall. I thought becoming a nurse would at least guarantee me a job! Anyways, I couldn’t deal any longer and I just missed having that peace of mind that used to come to me so naturally.

I had always been into yoga and spirituality, but always avoided incorporating meditation into my life on a regular basis. I had tried the 7 day trial Headspace app months before and it was VERY effective at relieving my stress. I ended up finding a link on YouTube for their  10 meditation and started doing it everyday! During this time I also got into Creative Visualization techniques to visualize finding the  perfect job for me. After this, I found this cool App called Insight Timer that has a collection of all kinds of guided meditations from numerous meditation teachers all for FREE. As time passed by and I meditated daily, things in my life started changing for the better.  I would like to share with you how it has helped me! Here we go:

1. Decreased Anxiety

I was never the anxious type, but sometimes life’s stressors just invite those demons into your life and it’s easy to temporarily lose the battle. Meditation is such a bargain because you can mediate 10 minutes a day and it will make the remaining 1430 minutes of your day a lot more peaceful. I sometimes get some mild social anxiety in new situations or being around too many people I don’t know. Meditation has just helped me go with the flow and help me rationalize that there are no threats. The occasional fight or flight/breaking an invisible sweat in presumptive stressful situations has definitely decreased. I feel more at ease without the help of any external substances.

2.  Better Relationships

Meditation has helped me learn to not take things as personally. I am not on edge as much as I was before. Once you have found that sense of calm, little of what other people do can bother you. I am less reactive. For example, living with a significant other can sometimes be challenging especially if you are used to your own space. I am a minimalist and my boyfriend is a bit of a pack rat. Every now and again I flip out on him because of lack of space in my external environment. Because meditation has helped create more space in my internal environment, the irritability factor has gone way down.  Still gotta declutter though!

3. Better ‘Highs’

When I say ‘high’, I mean cannabis highs. Yes, meditation has made smoking weed a lot more of a giggle/zenned out fest, and less more of a worry/over-analyze everything in my life fest!

4. Better Coordination (Boxing and Dancing)

I have been boxing on and off for 4 years and have just picked up dancing again after years of not consistently doing it. I definitely notice the days that I am able to meditate, my focus with both activities is a stronger. Both boxing and dance (I tap dance and just picked up House Dancing) require a lot of short-term memory use and coordination. If your mind is not clear, or you are thinking about tomorrows tasks, you might get punched in the face!

5. Increased Synchronicity

This is like a bonus effect of meditation. I asked around to others who I know that meditate about this. They all agreed. Meditation increases the sychronicities  in your life because you are present enough to notice the universe guiding you with little hints. I think synchronicity is a reminder that you are in the flow and going in the right direction. Just the universe saying “I see you.”

6. Easier Manifestations

So this is particularly for Creative Visualization. Creative Visualization is the art of visualizing the outcome that you wish to manifest. So for example, in my life, I visualized passing my government nursing exam and finding a nursing job. I would probably visualize about 2-3 times a week. There was a specific meditation I used on YouTube, which I will post the link to. I truly believe Creative Visualization is one of the magical loopholes to creating the life you desire. Our imaginations are extremely powerful and a lot of us do not take advantage of its powerful potential.

 manifest GIF

7. Increased Happiness

Very often I would get caught up in life’s worries. I would be watching a movie and miss a few minutes of it because my mind would trail off into some nonsense. Our worries can be legitimite, but lets face it, a lot of our worries never happen. And, if they do, it is often the worrying that attracted the issue to you in the first place. Every now and then when you are 100% present, it’s quite a euphoric feeling. But all that feeling is, is just the joy and ecstacy of being alive in the here and now. Meditating is definitely a path to get to that happy place.

Creative Visualization Meditation Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgQjW4v9tyk



Cannabis and Me : An 18 Year History

marijuana blog pic


Ever since I was a child, I was surrounded by weed! My parents were Rastafarians, so go figure. With that being said, that particular smell is something very nostalgic for me. It was so normalized in my home that I really did not think anything of it. Cigarettes and alcohol were foreign to me and I don’t think that that is a bad thing whatsoever. Lets dive into one of my favorite plant teachers, marijuana (MJ).

MJ has always had this undeniable cool factor. One of my first memories of MJ is bringing zigzags to school in grade 4 for an unofficial show and tell on the play ground. I remember this one rebellious popular kid, Malcom, grabbed them from me and said, “Oh shit! You got zig zags? My dad uses these!” I instantly felt hella cool from the paraphernalia induced attention I got.

Its kind of crazy how once you put a label on something, it instantly becomes this ‘thing’. Because I never knew weed was generally viewed in a negative way, it had never really effected my childhood like one might think it would. Teachers loved me as a kid, I always had good grades and participated in extracurricular activities quite often. I had a lot of friends and never thought of my life as different from anyone else. I’m sure I reeked of weed sometimes, but no one seemed to notice!

Fast-forward to age 12: My stepfather was a real rastaman. Just to give you a visual, he was the type of dude who had maybe 5 big locs on his head and a chin full of little locs that reached his sternum. He was what one would call a BOBO dread. It was quite the unique experience growing up with this eccentric and rebellious man. He constantly smoked the magical herb and left big ass roaches around the house (he rolled minimum 2 grams per joint). So of course, a curious 12 year old is going to eventually pick that roach up and monkey-see monkey-do that shit!

Now once again, just to be clear, weed was never demonized in my house whatsoever. I never knew it was a ‘drug’ or that it was ‘illegal’ It was just as common as a cup of coffee in my house. 12 year olds aren’t technically supposed to drink coffee, but if they do, its not the end of the world right? Well that’s what MJ represented in my house. Anyways, as destiny would have it, I got high for the first time at 12 years old!


I was lucky enough to have 2 older brothers and a younger sister who already took part in the holy sacrement of MJ, so inhaling wasn’t going to be mistakenly avoided. Anyways, this was my first time not being sober and I didn’t really take it well. I tripped out instantly! I asked my brothers how I could make this stop and they said I should eat something or go to sleep. I remember trying to go to sleep and seeing carton images in my head. Not sure if this was a psychotic episode or just a mild hallucination, but that didn’t stop me from eventually becoming a stoner 3 years later. Ironically after this experience, I occasionally got high with my sister in my closet. The house already smelt like weed anyways. We would never get too high, just enough to giggle and go to sleep. One thing I knew for sure was that I loved weed and anyone who didn’t was missing out!


Like many intelligent teenagers, when I was 15, I started to smoke everyday after school with my friends. Most of my friends knew my stepfather always had weed, so I could either ask him for some or steal one of his big roaches if we couldn’t find any. My younger sister and I also grew closer during this time due to our shared appreciation for MJ. Everyday, my friends and I would all excitedly go to the park hungry for hearty laughs and psychedelic intimacy. We would usually split a dime and smoke up as soon as we could. (there were usually about 7-10 of us). These were great times filled with laughing until we couldn’t breath and running from invisible cops (yea we did get slightly paranoid if we saw a cop car any where near us)!

As awesome as these years were, a lot of us had so much fun toking up that some of us started to do lousy is school. Now I know a lot of people say, don’t blame the plant for being lazy, its all about the mind using the plant, but I also think that weed can definitely be misused by an immature mind, which many of us had. There were some of us who did really well in school despite toking up on the daily and some of us who let it slow us down. I was one of them. But this is not a blog entry about shitting on weed, so lets continue.


I started to grow out of weed when I started having my first few bad trips. If you love weed and you start having bad trips, it can be kind of devastating because you had so much love for the plant, and then it just stops working for you, while all your other friends are still enjoying the hell out of it. But hey, things change. I still continued to smoke, but noticed that I started to become uncomfortable now in a lot of situations. Mild social anxiety and intolerance to bullshit started to insidiously blossom in my young and fragile mind. I started seeing the hard truth of reality as though it were hitting me over the head with a cast iron pan. I would smoke with certain people and just not like their energy, and it would effect me ten times more because I was high. This was the beginning of the end. Sadly, I knew it was over when I stopped enjoying music high *cue Etta James: something told me it was over*. Listening to music high as we all know, can be quite magical!

During this time, I also started dating this really toxic guy, who also happened to be a stoner. He sold hard drugs and listed to some of the most depressing hyper-masculine street rap ever. Him and his friends were extremely misogynistic. All of this was completely unpleasant to be around, especially for a hippy/neo-rasta/westcoast wannabe like myself. Every time I would smoke with him, things just got dark. I just thought this was the weed, but as an adult I now know, that set and setting have a huge influence on the outcome of the high. The weed was actually helping me to see the bullshit I was around, but I didn’t listen! At this point I actually stopped smoking for years and went through a lot of darkness. Unfortunately, alcohol became my go to substance of choice! Every time I would smoke, it was a hard dose of truth and reality that I completely wanted to avoid.

I will stop here for now, and hopefully my next blog will lead you to my current relationship with MJ. It gets better and I think that despite all of the full time stoners we know and love, there are people like myself who have had more of a give and take, love-hate relationship with marijuana, where it hasn’t always been an escape or a pleasant experience, but more of a teacher/student relationship. Stay tuned…



The Myth of the ‘Squad’

#Squadgoals #Squad #Squadup…

We have all seen these #squad posts one time or another, some of us might have been in them or even posted them. For me, it has kind of been a long time since I have been in an official all female or co-ed squad.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a few friends, but I don’t role with a crew. And honestly, sometimes I wish I did.  I wish I had one of those giant social circles where we all get together for milestone life events and party until 5 in the morning. I think my mental health might improve tenfold if I had a crew of just 3+ other girls.

To have a squad that withstands time, I’ve always wondered about the requirements: am I just not a girly girl? Like where the hell is my Sex and the City crew? Is it just a myth? Can you be a real ass mofo, still be well liked and also have a crew? Is it more of a class thing? Does it have to be strictly black girls? Strictly Indian girls? Strictly white girls? Strictly stoners? Strictly athletes? Hot girls at least 7/10?  Only hip hop heads?

I guess I can only speak for myself.  Like I’m not a total non-squatter. In the past I have been part of some #squads:

  • I had a *crew squad high school called The Trio (the name came about because we were so broke at 12 years old…like we should be, that we split an actual McDonald’s trio..and aha, the crew name manifested spontaneously)

*Crew is the pre-social media term for #squad

  • I had a crew squad called ‘the studio crew’ of a bunch of stoners in high school in which we got our bud from some random guy living in a studio apartment. Go figure.
  • My sister and I religiously hung out with these really cool part southern black girls who were all siblings -they were really into B.E.T. and really helped me gain more street cred (JOKE!) #goodyears
  • I had a squad in nursing school that became like family (only way i was going to survive)
  • I had a squad that consisted of my roommates/co-workers and our friends combined (beer galore, so kind of a multicultural fraternity\sorority)
  • lastly my current crew is just me, my sister and a close friend of the family…who just had a child (YIKES!)

Looking back, my crews were all circumstantial. We saw each other everyday, we lived together, went to school together or worked together, but these circumstantial squads were never enough to withstand the life changes that come with time. People did what people do.  We had falling outs, they had babies, moved away to better places, got possessive time consuming significant others, demanding jobs, and other interrupters of fun! So now I sit here, as a newly turned 30 year old feeling nostalgic and reminiscing on apparently better days. I see all these #squad pictures on Instagram and Facebook and feel a tinge of sadness that I no longer have a squad I can depend on to do epic shit with. I am grateful for all of the memories but I can’t help but feel like something is missing from my life.

One thing I have noticed is that sometimes people just want the image of having a squad for notoriety such as social media likes. (That dopamine rush from red notifications and pink hearts is some real ass shit!) More often than not, it is replacing the dopamine rush you might get from meaningful face to face conversations. Sometimes you end up in someones squad picture when you know y’all haven’t been friends like ‘that’  in a minute.

Anyways, I have mixed feelings about it. I have these low-key envious feelings about it, but then I also feel like its definitely not all its cracked up to be. In female crews there can be this unspoken cattiness at times, jealousy and feeling of being left out, and in the co-ed squads there can be sexual tension and unfinished business among members of the opposite sex.

Here, I just gave a little summary for someone like myself who might feel a little salty that they don’t have a “squad” , why they probably don’t, and what they might be missing out on. This might be a slightly bit pessimistic or very accurate depending on who reads this based on their experiences. I know there are somethings I have failed to mention, but I am not trying to write a thesis or something! Anyways here you go:

Cool Factor: I think having a squad shows that you are cool. You have some sort of worth being part of a specific crew and it gives you meaning and value. We all want to be a part of community, it is proven to be good for our well being and spirit. Plus, when you start dating someone you can wooh them with your cool squad and can combine squads to make an even bigger squad and do it every weekend… (Notorious B.I.G. style) Also, you will most likely almost always have a homie(s) to hang with after that break-up.

Deceit: Sometimes being a part of a female crew is having to put up with cattiness and phoniness. We will hang out with a friend who we do not respect out of loneliness and fear of being alone. We will watch a friend straight up lie to another friend without saying anything just out of fear. For instance, we won’t speak up while the squad is hating on someone, agree with some bullshit and just be a straight up follower.

Being your true self: Can we really be ourselves in front of our ‘squad’? I have had countless people tell me “Tisha, you are so real” or “I can actually be myself in front of you!” What the hell does this mean? To me it translates as, I live my life not revealing who I truly am out of fear that people will like me less. I sit here as someone who lives everyday as my true self and its a fucking struggle sometimes. I sometimes look at these #squadgoal photos thinking I don’t have enough friends, but y’all motherfuckers don’t even know the real person standing next to you? Come on now!

Squad Royalty Members: Every crew a lot of times, like most hierarchies, have the head honchos, the ones who sit at the ‘fantasy head table’. The ones who bring everyone together and who are basically treated like royalty. Not every crew has this, but a lot of them do. They represent what this crew stands for. Some times they are awesome people and that is why they are surrounded by many “worshippers” in the first place. And sometimes they are just shitty superficial people who are on a high horse. Either way this is just the dynamic of squad life (unless there are like 4 people or less). If this doesn’t bother you, and you are not much of a rebellious and overly opinionated person, then squad life might come a little more natural for you.

Loners: I consider myself a loner. Most of my friends I have one on one relationships with. I have tried to combine some people together and it doesn’t work a lot of the times. One thing I have noticed is that majority of the best people I have met are loners. The ones who gave too much and got taken advantage of to the point where they were like, if you do not keep it 100 then fuck off. As a person who keeps it 100, I expect the same back. Like the meme says, it costs 0$ to be a good person. Now when I say keep it 100, it basically just means don’t try to betray or lie to me, do not try to play me for a fool, be yourself and try and be there for me when you can. You would be surprised at what a daunting task this is for many people. I blame is on shitty family cycles and lack of self-awareness.

Ok back to squad life. If you can say you have an honest squad and you can be yourself with one another, consider yourself lucky. It is truly a blessing. As for those of us on the flipside, the path of more resistance, the ones who said fuck this, I don’t want to settle for less, I don’t stand for what my crew stands for so I’d rather stand alone, here is all I can say. Everyone you meet is a teacher who reflects back to you what you see in yourself. I know, there are A LOT of shitty people and you seeing this does not also make you a shitty person, but the awareness is there. And clearly if this person is shitty there is some pain they haven’t yet resolved. I also believe that what comes easy wont last, and what lasts wont come easy. With that being said hold on tight, take the time to evolve and spread your wings far and wide when the opportunity presents itself. You will meet those souls that change the direction of your life and just get you. You just gotta have patience.